Thursday, 22 September 2011

A Tale Of Herpetophobia....

"Lizards", those creepy little cold species always with it's wagging tail as it creeps on the wall threatens me to give me my worst ever nightmares!!!The worst feature in a lizard that I find, is it's eyes (WISH I COULD DESIGN SOME STYLISH GLARES TO CAMOUFLAGE THEIR EYES AND MAKE THEM LOOK LITTLE ATTRACTIVE TO ME).I have been cursed with "Herpetophobia",a fear for lizards....I even find it difficult to type out the name......And army quarters are full of them(specially in Ambala)......Our helper has to learn only one thing...SHOO the LIZARDS AWAY....Every evening before he leaves he chases them and seals the house literally....This happened when my husband was posted to the unit.To prevent any encounter with them in the middle of the night I even used to put mosquito net while sleeping. it used to creep me out even by the thought of them getting "PARA-DROPPED" on me at night.I never used to stay alone at home sans my husband at night only because I always used to anticipate being ATTACKED by them while alone at home. That's the reason whenever my husband had to go on some T.D. or something of the sort I would always tag along with him.Once the COMMANDING OFFICER of my husband's regiment gave me the "BRIGHT IDEA"(huh) of putting the egg shells in the house to scare away the lizards. Well, I think he was too bugged by me being tagged along everywhere with my hubby in his official visits. But whatever it was,I could not stop myself form putting that idea into action eagerly hoping to get rid of those little horrifyingly creepy villains. Soon I instructed our helper to seal each and every nook and corner of the house with broken egg shells. Those days we were living in the first floor of a quarter...where, in the ground floor my husband's company commander used to live (who happens to be a pure veggie). One day our helper comes and informs me that the lady staying in the ground floor wants to meet me..I don't know what my "Thamil" speaking helper told her but immediately after landing at her place I could somehow read her feelings towards me.She appeared to be pretty annoyed with me the way she was throwing a hateful look at me. "Oh God,what did I do??"I was just asking myself....and then the dark mystery got unfolded soon as the conversation got rolling between the two of us, she taunted that she wonders "why do I always throw all the egg shells on her house???" !!! Well,I was taken aback by her taunt to no end...."HUH!!..WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVER THROW EGG SHELLS ON YOUR HOUSE???!!!", yet somehow I managed to keep it to myself....but later realized that it was not her fault either as the egg shells used to be blown away by the winds from my balcony straight to the lawn of her house!!!Well, while explaining the whole story to her she also could not stop from laughing her heart out at my predicament !!!

But that's not all at all....then again during OPERATION PARAKRAM(a military operation in 2001, while the entire Indian Arm Forces' mobilization took place because of the unprecedented attack on our parliament) our husbands were away with the entire unit leaving behind only the rear party and the ladies......My Bhaiya(helper) as usual checked the house for lizards and went away in the evening....My daughter and I went to bed.....I had shut off the lights and was about to lie down when suddenly my daughter whispered....MAMMA CHIPKALI!!!! SHIT!!! I thought...It was 10 pm and in those days mobile was not so much in vogue...I quickly picked up an Army phone and called another lady(GOD BLESS HER) and shared my predicament.....She in turn immediately contacted the regiment......To pass on a message to our Helper.......NOW I DO NOT KNOW WHAT MESSAGE ACTUALLY GOT CONVEYED THROUGH THE PEOPLE IN THE REGIMENT....But half an hour later my door bell rang and I open the door to find 4 sentries with AK47 standing there and asking me...."MADAM, INTRUDER KAHAN HAI????"....(GOD NOT AGAIN !!)Was I embarrassed ???!!!But at the same time this GREEDY thought STRUCK my mind "WISH I COULD KEEP THEM WITH ME TO FIGHT THESE LITTLE CREEPY INTRUDERS AT MY PLACE FOREVER OR AT LEAST TILL THE TIME MY HUSBAND COMES BACK...HOW SECURED AND SAFE MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN....SIGH!!!"

Monday, 19 September 2011



Battered time will soon be flying...
Have you seen our faith ever dying...???
Soon the clouds will glow,
These rough blues will flow
Desires will grow
Then I shall row,
For all you know :

No signs of feelings that I adore..
No silly butterflies in my belly,
Only looking to reach the shore..
Nurturing an ever waiting bud within me.
Craving for some sprinkle of sunshine,
Lest you make me smile,
Yes it's been quite long for a while..!!!!