Innocence That Is Long Dead....

Deep inside I hear the call

Yeah it's about time to let it fall...!!!

To turn down the ever choking flashes of moments

Inside my head 

Brought by the colours of forgone 

Or  innocence that is long dead ???

Those ever sparkling stars 

Never seem to get tired

Even of the arrogant thunder storms !!!

Diligently striving to refresh the essence
of their sparkles in my life!!!

The crazy little spell casted on me

And 'Sunshine' that I used to call you fondly...
Did  it ever mean a thing to you ???
Perhaps that's the reason it looked too perfect to be true...!!!
I am not your's neither lost in you
It's just a phase and it will be through
As the snowflakes melts in the sunshine
After the morning dew

There's no magic anymore
We meet as other people do...
For I have grown listless
As the pool beside the shore
You know how it is when there is no splendor anymore...

A Tale Of Herpetophobia....

"Lizards", those creepy little cold species always with it's wagging tail as it creeps on the wall threatens me to give me my worst ever nightmares!!!The worst feature in a lizard that I find, is it's eyes (WISH I COULD DESIGN SOME STYLISH GLARES TO CAMOUFLAGE THEIR EYES AND MAKE THEM LOOK LITTLE ATTRACTIVE TO ME).I have been cursed with "Herpetophobia",a fear for lizards....I even find it difficult to type out the name......And army quarters are full of them(specially in Ambala)......Our helper has to learn only one thing...SHOO the LIZARDS AWAY....Every evening before he leaves he chases them and seals the house literally....This happened when my husband was posted to the unit.To prevent any encounter with them in the middle of the night I even used to put mosquito net while sleeping. Gosh...how it used to creep me out even by the thought of them getting "PARA-DROPPED" on me at night.I never used to stay alone at home sans my husband at night only because I always used to anticipate being ATTACKED by them while alone at home. That's the reason whenever my husband had to go on some T.D. or something of the sort I would always tag along with him.Once the COMMANDING OFFICER of my husband's regiment gave me the "BRIGHT IDEA"(huh) of putting the egg shells in the house to scare away the lizards. Well, I think he was too bugged by me being tagged along everywhere with my hubby in his official visits. But whatever it was,I could not stop myself form putting that idea into action eagerly hoping to get rid of those little horrifyingly creepy villains. Soon I instructed our helper to seal each and every nook and corner of the house with broken egg shells. Those days we were living in the first floor of a quarter...where, in the ground floor my husband's company commander used to live (who happens to be a pure veggie). One day our helper comes and informs me that the lady staying in the ground floor wants to meet me..I don't know what my "Thamil" speaking helper told her but immediately after landing at her place I could somehow read her feelings towards me.She appeared to be pretty annoyed with me the way she was throwing a hateful look at me. "Oh God,what did I do??"I was just asking myself....and then the dark mystery got unfolded soon as the conversation got rolling between the two of us, she taunted that she wonders "why do I always throw all the egg shells on her house???" !!! Well,I was taken aback by her taunt to no end...."HUH!!..WHY ON EARTH WOULD I EVER THROW EGG SHELLS ON YOUR HOUSE???!!!", yet somehow I managed to keep it to myself....but later realized that it was not her fault either as the egg shells used to be blown away by the winds from my balcony straight to the lawn of her house!!!Well, while explaining the whole story to her she also could not stop from laughing her heart out at my predicament !!!

But that's not all at all....then again during OPERATION PARAKRAM(a military operation in 2001, while the entire Indian Arm Forces' mobilization took place because of the unprecedented attack on our parliament) our husbands were away with the entire unit leaving behind only the rear party and the ladies......My Bhaiya(helper) as usual checked the house for lizards and went away in the evening....My daughter and I went to bed.....I had shut off the lights and was about to lie down when suddenly my daughter whispered....MAMMA CHIPKALI!!!! SHIT!!! I thought...It was 10 pm and in those days mobile was not so much in vogue...I quickly picked up an Army phone and called another lady(GOD BLESS HER) and shared my predicament.....She in turn immediately contacted the regiment......To pass on a message to our Helper.......NOW I DO NOT KNOW WHAT MESSAGE ACTUALLY GOT CONVEYED THROUGH THE PEOPLE IN THE REGIMENT....But half an hour later my door bell rang and I open the door to find 4 sentries with AK47 standing there and asking me...."MADAM, INTRUDER KAHAN HAI????"....(GOD NOT AGAIN !!)Was I embarrassed ???!!!But at the same time this GREEDY thought STRUCK my mind "WISH I COULD KEEP THEM WITH ME TO FIGHT THESE LITTLE CREEPY INTRUDERS AT MY PLACE FOREVER OR AT LEAST TILL THE TIME MY HUSBAND COMES BACK...HOW SECURED AND SAFE MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN....SIGH!!!"

[LyricsMasti] Lyrics of Karoge Yaad To Har Baat (Bazaar 1982)

[LyricsMasti] Lyrics of Karoge Yaad To Har Baat (Bazaar 1982)

DREAMS

       

Battered time will soon be flying...
Have you seen our faith ever dying...???
Soon the clouds will glow,
These rough blues will flow
Desires will grow
Then I shall row,
For all you know :

No signs of feelings that I adore..
No silly butterflies in my belly,
Only looking to reach the shore..
Nurturing an ever waiting bud within me.
Craving for some sprinkle of sunshine,
Lest you make me smile,
Yes it's been quite long for a while..!!!!

Does it really matter to you?????

Wonder where it will take us to
It seems so much like a time to bid adieu,
for I have waited for you too long,
Never really cared; what if I go wrong???
Every time the shadows pass by,
my heart skips a beat or two,
Some of your beautiful untruths
still make me hover if it's you!!!

Healing a bruised heart with all it's dreams
moving on to pick up those pieces of life
with the baggage of foregone,
In the jungle of hopes to survive,
Without you or even the anticipations to see you again
For my soul has withered since long...

When You Left Me...

When you'r gone...
I was still the same
the way you left me
waiting for you to turn back and
look at me with glee.
The cuckoos were still chirping on the trees
wind was still blowing silently across the hills...
by gently playing with my hair
yet leaving it high and dry
And when you did not turn back
even then still I thought...
may be you fear looking at me
because it might stop you from parting away from me.
Yes I was still the same.
I still booked a table for two
at Sunny's,your favorite restaurant.
Still got dorned up
the way you always want me to be
I wore that red silhouette gown..
You gave me on my last birthday
I still did not wear any color on my lips,
I knew you don't like to get teased
by any unreal flavor on my lips.
I still kept my hair unkempt..
remember, you liked moving your fingers through the strands of my unruly hair
detangling it softly
while our eyes were deep in conversation...
and my head was
basking in the warmth of your arms.
I would still not wear any perfumes
lest it bars me from getting the feel of you in the air
once you are ushered in towards the table by the waiter..
I was still so deep in your thought....
How would I ever hold myself back from you....
once you sit next to me,
only to tickle all my senses
caressing my bones with a smile
and say "Hi dear" ?????

Will You Make My Love Story...????

Dashing you and pretty me
yes we can be the most sought after
protagonists of the world's
next best seller LOVE STORY..

You fall for me when you
find me the very first time
then name it as 'love at first sight'

You wait for me till hours
at the courtyard of my cottage
to catch a glimpse of me
then start grumbling as I flee

You make me feel how beautiful I am
call me as your 'belle dame';
then I shall blush,
cry out of joy,
holding myself back,
When my knees would give up!!!

You promise me the moon and
be my sunshine
and keep on shining till the end of time...